What have I learned?
1. I needed a support group! I told all our friends and family about my situation. I wasn't looking for pity. I was looking for any assistance they might be able to give me, prayers, Internet, medical advice, tell me and my wife that we would be ok. Help if we ever needed any. You are our angels. And we have lots of them. Melanoma is not something you should hide under a basket. Tell the people that are important to you.
2. The Internet is FULL of treatment possibilities. It's important that you understand the medical jargon. Then you can begin to understand the treatments that are out there. There are a number of melanoma and NCI sites you should be following frequently. I'll be happy to share what I followed and picked up on.
3. It's important that you have an oncologist who sees you as a partner in finding and following a course of treatment. This is your life at stake. How you feel and what course of action you think is best for you is most important. If you do not have this kind of oncologist, have a heart-to-heart with him/her, be blunt and make your feelings known. If they cannot work this way - CHANGE ONCOLOGISTS! I did.
4. Select the program of treatment you feel is best for you and sail forth into it. Do not look back! You gotta believe in your plan.
5. At the same time, be on the lookout for a "Plan B." What will you do just in case Plan A doesn't work?
6. I can't say enough about being at peace within yourself. Our bodies are all one huge complicated organism. And all the parts communicate with one another. If one part is under duress, it affects the rest. I really believe my cancer was caused by me getting stressed out about work for a years, lowering the efficiency of my immune system. Whatever reduces your stress level - running, yoga, tai chi, reading, praying, listening to music - do it often. I'm not a doctor, but my experience tells me being at peace is critical to healing.
7. Last... Whatever you believe will happen to you... Probably will. If you believe you will die - you probably will. If you believe - I mean really believe - you will live. You have a good chance of living. This is not pie-in-the-sky believing. It's the hard-nosed belief that you have taken every step you can take and are ready to take others if necessary.
Melanoma is not for the faint of heart. You gotta want to live and do whatever is necessary to live to have a chance. And even that may not be enough...
What good have I gotten from melanoma?
What a crazy question! Good - from melanoma?
Every day is a fantastic gift. A day I didn't think I would get. I can get goose-bumps at a sunrise! Seeing my family grow - seeing my nephews, nieces, friends and family... I remember the days I never thought I'd see, these things. It colors, everything about the world. I'm a huggy sorta guy by nature. But getting and giving hugs is a gift of immeasurable worth to me now. Time is so precious to me.
No one ever promised me tomorrow... I guess I always knew that - but it didn't mean anything like it means now, with melanoma. All we have is today. If I really believe I have only today, how would I live it?
Jimmy B.
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